"Every great story has a beginning, middle, and end; not necessarily in that order. We are all great stories, just not all written as chapter books." -Phil Kay
Anonymous asked: complicated how?
How about maybe you get off anon because I’m not going to out my beefs with my friends in public. Not again.
who wants to make out with me for like 4 hours
DID THEY SEND US DAUGHTERS
WHEN I ASKED
This HR dept doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
I feel gross and I want to scrub my insides with lillies and daisies and be the soft hearted fairy me that I like
I’ve never met Chris Pratt but I trust him
i need a hot boy who thinks they’re really ugly so they think im out of their league but actually they are way out of my league
Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney
((The ability to appreciate and evaluate human aesthetic is not determined by your sexuality))
DEAR PEOPLE WHO MADE “THE GIVER” MOVIE:
THERE ARE NO FUCKING HOVERCRAFTS IN THE BOOK
NO HOVERCRAFTS ABDUCT JONAS IN THE BOOK
JONAS AND FIONA DO NOT FALL IN LOVE IN THE BOOK
THE INJECTIONS ARE PILLS IN THE BOOK
PLEASEJONAS IS TWELVE IN THE BOOK.
I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY
oh god this sounds staggeringly awful I am so sorry